Cultured Views

What would you think if you saw such an advertisement in the datings column of the Sunday paper…would it shock or disturb you?

If you are completely honest with yourself, and everyone else, you would think the person who placed that ad more than a bit weird. I think just about everyone, including myself, would agree with you too. And if that offends anyone reading this then you are welcome to state your reasons why.

The point of all this is a story I recently came across where a woman, Lucy Baxter, is on a mission to help her foster son, Otto, to lose his virginity. Otto is twenty one years old and, like all young men that age, his thoughts revolve around girls most of the time. He wants to date and he wants a girlfriend, but there is one obstacle…Otto has Down Syndrome. But Lucy sees this as no problem. According to Lucy, Otto is entitled to a love life, and sex life, just like any other young man. She also claims he is entitled to get married and have children of his own – only she sees him sharing such a future with a ‘normal’ girl, not another Down’s individual.

Lucy and Otto Baxter.

So Lucy has set up profiles on Bebo and other sites for Otto to meet ‘normal’ young ladies to achieve his aims, which is nice, but I have to wonder just how practical Lucy is being…and I don’t think she is being practical at all.

Otto is a ‘high functioning’ Down’s individual due to his education and Lucy’s care but he still is quite dependant and unable to live independantly of any assistance or care of his own accord. He is witty, affectionate and already has a circle of friends who are not Down’s but I am wondering whether Lucy is leading Otto to believe in something that really may never happen.

You will find sexual attraction occurring between Down’s people and they can, and do, marry albeit they live together under supervision by social services and I understand that steps are taken to ensure contraception is used at all times. A Down’s couple have a very high chance of conceiving a baby which will also have Down Syndrome and this issue is rife with arguments about rights and ethics. Personally I find it irresponsible to allow a baby to be born into such a relationship. Disagree if you like.

But back to Otto. Sexual relationships among the mentally retarded is one of the greatest taboos and you have to wonder if Lucy is being responsible in what she is trying to achieve for Otto – she has even said she will assist him to visit a prostitute if he is desperate enough to lose his virginity. Such a thought is quite distasteful to me.

I have to feel for Otto though; I could not see a young woman ever placing the above ad in a lonely hearts column. In the same vein how would you feel about a ‘normal’ man who stated he was only sexually attracted to young women with Down Syndrome…? I am sure his motives would be highly questioned and, yes, I would say he was perverted because people with Down’s have suffered shocking sexual abuse and exploitation in the past in hospitals, care homes and especially in the days when they were confined to institutions.

If Lucy is merely out to find someone for Otto to have his first sexual experience with then I have to say she should really think such a thing through seeing he is in a very vulnerable situation. Looking for something much deeper for him is going to be a very unusual expectation. But good luck to him all the same.

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