Cultured Views

It is just soooo wrong, and we must find a way to stop it. All these oompa-loompa women walking around…it’s scary!!!

Just walking around Castle Court in Belfast yesterday revealed a mass of orange-faced, dyed-black-hair female clones wandering around in search of…well, I cannot tell you. But it looks hideous.

They don’t look tanned. Properly tanned is healthy; it’s a light golden, caramel glow – these women look like inmates of a hepatitis ward with serious cirrhosis of the liver. And coupled with this latest trend (thanks JORDAN!) of very dark dyed hair you have a lot of fair skinned anglo-saxon females trying to capture the hispanic look and failing dismally.

Yes, there you go – her on the left. There are masses just like her all around Belfast and Northern Ireland – faux olive skinned brunettes – and they are spreading like wildfire all over the United Kingdom too.

I have a suggestion girls – forget the tanning room – smear yourself with gravy browner instead. It’s much cheaper and you can even do your teeth with it as well to complete the look…

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