Cultured Views

So you want to run a hotel/B&B?…part 2: Your guests

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You may assume that all people are alike. And they pretty much are, except, when they are wearing a hat that says ‘tourist’. I have found that many people take on a totally different persona when they are on holiday. This manifests itself in certain different ways…

a) I am easy to please. I just want my room, my breakfast, then I’m off.
b) I’ve had a totally crap time on holiday and am going to take it out on ‘you’…meaning ‘you’ the accommodation provider.
c) Yes, I read your website in whole, but I still want you to provide services that you state you do not provide.
d) I know I have booked, and paid for, 2 star accommodation, but I still expect all the services of a 5 star hotel. At 2 star prices.
e) I only booked your place because we could not get in anywhere else so I am going to let you know this and be a total shit about everything because I would not be here if I did not have to. And I expect you to put up with my crappy behaviour.
f) Yes, we know it is after 10.30 at night, and we have passed countless cafes, service stops and restaurants on our way here, but we did not bother to stop and have a meal. Why can you not cook us a 3 course meal now?. So what if the cook is 8 months pregnant…we are hungry so get her out of bed!.
g)Can we see the room FIRST please?. (This is an almost certainty that the guest will not stay as they do not like the ‘front’ of your place). Note: this is a common phrase uttered by certain English folk.

h) We liked the room, appreciated your hospitality, enjoyed the meals…
i) Yes, I know you state your ‘double ensuite room’ can only fit two people but we still want to squeeze in 2/3 kids/adults extra as well because we are too cheap to pay for another room…
j) Yes, we told you we enjoyed ourselves, smiled at you, and loved the food, room, etc…just wait till we get home and answer the ‘rate your hotel accommodation’ email’ then we will show our true side…
k) We had a great time. We’ll be back. And they actually DO come back!. And you are happy to see them…

I have found that whatever you offer, whatever you do, it will suit some but never all.
If you offer breakfast as a service: the French nearly ALWAYS take breakfast. The Spanish…sometimes, depends on the price…the English, many will only accept a ‘cooked English breakfast’ as an option. Despite the fact that they are in France, they still expect bacon and eggs as if it were ‘home’. Few want ‘continental’. (So why do they leave home in the first place?).
Germans/Danish/Swedes/Dutch: as long as breakfast includes sliced meat, cheese and yoghurt they will be happy.

Tomorrow…your guests ‘inroom’ demands/expectations. What you advertise as opposed to what they ‘want/expect’.

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