I was flicking through the tv channels recently and ventured curiously into the creepy world of the Christian Channels – what an eerie dimension it was too. To think that people actually sit down and watch these shows…well do they? in this parallel world exist the TV Evangelists and they certainly come in all shapes and sizes, all colours, creeds and level of self-delusion. One thing they do have in common though is this – money – and lot’s of it. It oozes out of the pores of the perma-tanned face of Kenneth Copeland, it drips from the Armani suits of Don Stewart and sits comfortably on the expensively clad shoulders of Joyce Meyer.They are a fascinating breed these people, they speak of salvation of your soul while the only salvation they deal in is with your money – you give it they save it! but of all these con-men/women the one who really grabbed by attention for sheer theatrics was Rev Leroy Jenkins…the Elvis Presley of the pulpit.
This guy does not just invest in your soul, he invests heavily in expensive suits, gold jewellery and a fairly large amount of very, very badly done cosmetic surgery (see above picture). With a barnet that resembles the shiny nylon hair on a cabbage patch doll he ‘saves’ and ‘heals’ the gullible and the deluded who seem not to question why he gets to wear designer clothes while they do all the prayin’ and glorify’n of The Lord. And now these showmen are doing the free giveaway thing to prove that you do get something for nothing (and nothing has a very broad meaning when you consider these people’s motives…).
Ole Leroy ‘gives away’ a free vial of miracle water which makes you imagine all sorts of things when you swallow the teaspoon-sized amount, of course you can have gallons more of the stuff as long as you are prepared to shell out for it. Then on another channel you can score a free green prayer cloth which is a piece of – well – green cloth, and Uncle Don Stewart is handing them out. I don’t know whether you are supposed to blow your nose or bless yourself with it, but it is nice to know it is a multi-purpose prayer cloth. Last, but not least, is another preacher man whose organisation will send you a free vial of miracle oil if you are silly enough to write in for it. Oh, and they all accept all major credit cards too…
Honestly, I wonder if Jesus ever realised what a lucrative business his christianity movement would turn out to be.
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You think with all the money he scams from desperate people, he’d be able to afford a better plastic surgeon and a better fake tan than that!