Like most women I inspect my skin regularly and the inspections are becoming more morbid with every passing year. I was lucky never to have had a zitty face in my teens; I had a nice clear complexion from the start while my friend today still uses polyfiller-type foundation on her pock marked face. I told her never to squeeze but she wouldn’t listen!

Apart from running around on the sandy beaches of Manly and Harbord I generally stayed out of the sun once I turned 18, I thank my Mum’s nagging to this day for that. And as for those tanning beds – you may as book a place in a melanoma clinic while there are vacancies if you intend on using those things.

Nevertheless I like to try out new facial products now and then; I won’t buy those hideously priced pots that promise to take 12.5 years off your face in 2 weeks ( how do they arrive at such figures? ). Browsing through the cosmetic dept in a store recently I was fascinated by the sheer range of of these items and noticed a pot of cream that was US$280! no way would I ever buy it but it promised to remove/relax all lines on the face in 15 minutes. What a temptation…

Now, I don’t have any lines as such on my face…yet…but there is a tiny trackline making its way along the top of my eyebrow. I thought hmmm, I have fifteen minutes to spare…think I’ll try a dab. You know how they put these products on display with the test me label on it?…and just when you are poised to poke your finger in the pot the sales-nazi appears from nowhere and hovers. So, I waited till the coast was clear, poked the finger in, got a good sized blob and wandered over to the mirror. Smeared it over the spot and went for a wander round the store.

It tingles, it stings to high heaven…it must be working! That’s what they say to expect anyway. Full of anticipation, it was the longest 15 minutes of my life (not counting the pap test though) and I made my way back to the mirror hoping to see no more trace of my little trackline. It’s still there! plus red and itchy into the bargain…great!

For $280 I think a trip to Lourdes might be more effective. Nice little jar though…