The ability to be able to string a rhyme together serves various purposes and certainly in this case

Her wealthy footballer lover has spent thousands to stop the mainstream media from publishing his name after details of his affair with very-good-sport Imogen almost made it into the daily papers. But how much of a fool he must feel seeing as how well publicised it is on the internet instead…you cannot gag the whole world and as for Imogen feeling ‘thrown to the wolves’ – you made your bed girl now lay in it!

You might feel distressed about your life being ‘ruined’ but how much consideration did you give to the wife and children while you were busy with ‘buyin’ figs’…?

Okay so here is a post about aliens and the like, it’s not my usual category as there’s nothing to rant about with UFO’s but having read about the UFO seen over New York city last week I thought I’d put my two cents worth in.  Do I believe in extra-terrestrial life…? I believe in the possibility of there being something out there existing in the universe besides us. And it there is I hope it/they – whatever that life form is – stays right where it is and away from our planet. Only one story has ever made me consider that we really are not alone and that was the disappearance in October 1978 over the  Bass Strait of Australian pilot Frederick Valentich who had reported during a flight of being followed by a strange flying object – his last words before he disappeared forever were…

“That strange aircraft is hovering on top of me again. It is hovering and it’s not an aircraft”.

But why would ‘aliens’ want to contact us? why would they want to come here?

Look at it this way; any form of life that had the ability to travel across what would be billions of light-years to get to us – and remember we can only get as far as the moon and back safely at the moment – would be an extremely advanced intelligence far exceeding ours. So why would they bother with a civilisation that could offer them nothing in terms of conversation but had plenty in terms of resources – water, minerals, food supply…

No Trace: Pilot Frederick Valentich

Do we humans bother with trying to communicate with ants or bees?   no, we spend our time trying to eradicate the former as pests and harness the latter to provide us with what we desire. Think of us humans in the same manner and put it into perspective. Any alien civilisation would not be bothered with us as life forms, but I’d say we could provide them with whatever it was that they needed…and came looking for. If aliens ever land here they wont be looking to make conversation or shake hands, they will be here for a purpose and, like humans with ants, will simply eliminate any threat or obstacle. They’ll come and take what they need and then leave – that’s how it will be done, if it ever happens. So if you have ever thought it would be cool for aliens to make themselves known to us then I would think again – if they ever do land here I doubt we will be around afterwards to read about it in the news.

By the way, if you want to learn about the Valentich case then here’s a link to YouTube where it was featured on Unsolved Mysteries.

A friend in Australia sent this to me recently – I have to laugh…

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS POEM

I cross ocean, poor and broke.
At Christmas Island, see customs folk.
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need plenty of welfare.

Authorities say, ‘You come no more,
Mr Rudd send visa to your door.’
Centrelink cheques – they make you wealthy!

Medicare – it keep you healthy!

By and by, I get plenty money.
Thanks to you, you Aussie dummy!
Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them ‘come fast as you can.’

They come in turbans and leaky boats,
And buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come over here, we live together.
More Centrelink cheques, it gets better!

Fourteen families, we’re moving in,
but neighbour’s patience wearing thin.

Finally, Aussie guy moves away.
Now I buy his house, then I say,
‘Find more immigrants for house to rent.’
And in the yard I put a tent.

Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood.
We have hobby, it’s called breeding. Medicare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get free! We got no bills!

Aussies crazy! They work all year, to keep the welfare running here.
We think Australia darn good place.
Too darn good for Aussie race!
If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Afghanistan !

How many of us can get away with looking like Elle MacPherson on the daily school run…? would you dare to do the ripped-jeans look and be confident of carrying it off as you walk into the playground? surprisingly some women would think so and you only have to see the way some women are decked out just for the purpose of collecting the kids from school in the afternoons to know this.

I collect the boys every afternoon and one thing I notice is that some women are definitely vying for the Most-Fashionable-Mum trophy and even this bitterly cold weather does not seem to dampen their efforts to out-do each other. One very determined Mum never, ever turns up at the school in anything other than a) a mini skirt, stockings and black stilletto boots…or b) hot pants, stockings and black stilletto boots. I get frostbite just looking at her! what is she trying to prove…?

Then there is another Mum who must have the clothes budget of Coleen Rooney because to date she has never worn the same outfit twice – and has a different handbag for each day of the week and toddles in on heels so ridiculously high that I would get vertigo if they were on my feet – I wondered how on earth she worked all day in them until one afternoon I saw her parked around the corner of the school and saw her slipping off her ‘sensible’ shoes and slipping on the killer heels before parading into the playground in them (I do supervisory duties in the playground at lunchtimes and notice her child is not as fashionably turned out as she is -  the poor kid never has a warm jumper to wear…)

But my partner saw a sight the other week when it was his turn to do the afternoon-run that must take the medal so far – a Mum in black, shiny rubber trousers (yes, rubber) and glittery disco top in minus temperatures. That does it, tomorrow I get out my Tina-Turner leopard prints and off I go!

You read about them, you see their pictures in all the glossies and newspapers…but you often ask yourself – what the hell do they do…? what are they famous FOR??

Well I certainly and I have made a list of some of these very people who seem to be everywhere, with everyone and frankly…WHY!

Alexa Chung (left): I had to list this woman first because I cannot figure her out at all. Strange name, strange looking,  and the most awkward  posture I have ever seen – she always looks like she is busting to have a wee. Someone teach this person the art of leg-placement please!

The Geldof Sisters: You have to place these two – Peaches and Pixie (they sound like cabbage patch dolls…) – together because they appear to work as a double act. They don’t seem to work, get invited to everything, look totally miserable, annoy a lot of people and – oh yes – their father is ‘Saint Bob’ Geldof. Fame by association yes – but I wonder what will happen when they age and their perma-sad faces show some wear and tear…the media should be ashamed of it’s collective self for convincing these two that they mean anything to the population…

Any female housemate from Big Brother: Enough said – can anybody DO something about Michelle Bass…?

Kelly Osborne: Sorry, but I still cannot work her out. I like Ozzy for sure, but after all her stints in rehab…what else does she DO!

And…

Nicola McLean: Your guess is as good as mine. Googles herself obsessively (well, we all need a hobby – HI! ), has landed herself a footballer husband so is set for life financially – must have been the two silicone footballs inserted in her chest that he found attractive. Likes to stir Katie Price and emulate alter-ego Jordan but ain’t in the league.Wow – three lines written about her…is this a record for Nicol…Nicole…Nicoli…NICOLA! (phew, I knew I’d get it eventually)

Pointless celebrities, pointless people, pointless…like this article. Feel free to add some more…