Our neighbours have just welcomed their first baby into the world, a little girl, and seem to be all prepared for anything that comes their way – well-meaning relatives have given them lots of new fangled stuff that just wasn’t really around when I had my first baby 25 years ago. Even seven years ago, when I had my last baby I never went in for nursery-technology.

The neighbours have bottle-warmers, bottle-sterilisers and a video baby monitor in the room which I am guessing will make them paranoid more than anything.  My cousin some years back bought one of those baby-walkie-talkie things that sit beside the cot as the baby slept and she found herself unable to relax downstairs as she sat and listened for every tiny squeak and sound. I am sure the new parents up the road will work out for themselves that if baby wants to make herself heard she will…monitor or no monitor!

Jamie Cumming, 34, of Dundee is so feckless even his own mother is ashamed of him. This useless tosser has fathered 16 children to 14 different mothers and he has another yet to be born…to another equally feckless girl. We wont call them ‘women’ – the mothers of his kids – Jamie only prefers young girls, teenagers in fact, and there is obviously no shortage of them where he lives who are eager to queue up for his services and make him their passport to a free council house and a life on benefits.

Get that funky fringe girls!

Shame is something his mother should be feeling, and sadly it is a characteristic she has not passed on to her son. He does not work, nor do the mothers of his tribe of kids and several of them he does not even bother to see. That leaves it to us, the taxpayers, to fund this moron’s lifestyle and his growing list of happy teenage brood mares – his latest conquest is just three years older than his eldest daughter. The girls are no better, their kids have no hope in this world with their own brand of ignorance breeding ignorance. One can only pray that with so many offspring running around unaware of their own siblings they don’t ‘get together’ some day, this is a eugenics nightmare. This man and those girls should be utterly ashamed of themselves – but I doubt they’d even know what it means to feel shame of any kind.

I can think of only one solution for this man and his harem…a pair of scissors and a scalpel.

The girls at work just recently were chatting about how they planned to cope with the looming winter and what types of pyjama’s they all wore to bed when it was too cold to sleep au naturel. The general consensus was that you know you’re getting on when you’d rather wear something warm and cosy to bed than filmy, satiny things like teddies and cami’s. I can see their point though…

When you have young kids there is always the possibility of having to get up in the middle of the night to fetch a dry throat a glass of water or steer a sleepy little body towards the loo – and when it’s -10 you don’t want to be half naked doing so! and slippers – there, now you really know you’re on your way.

So Amanda Knox has finally won her bid for freedom and her infamy is set to make her a fortune out of the morbid curiosity the media world has for this strange young woman. Personally I hope she makes nothing out of this whole sordid affair and that we never have to see any more images of her smarmy face ever again.

My thoughts lie fully with the family of young Meredith Kurcher, the young woman who was so brutally murdered – for Amanda Knox to make money out of what happened to that poor girl would be obscene in the extreme. I believe that Amanda Knox was involved in Ms Kercher’s murder, to the extent that the loose and promiscuous lifestyle she led contributed to the circumstances of that terrible day. The Kercher family thought they had an explanation for what happened to their girl, now that has been taken away from them.

Amanda Knox needs to disappear and enjoy her freedom in obscurity. It will always be a tragedy that Meredtih Kercher ever met Amanda Knox.

After 23 year old Kirsty Dieng downed two bottles of wine followed by a gallon of vodka she decided to get behind the wheel of her car – with her 2 year old child in the back seat – despite being totally and completely intoxicated. As you do…

As this waster drove erratically on her way she began texting on her mobile – no act of idiocy would be complete without texting being involved somewhere of course. Ms Dieng then crashed her car – as you would – and was so pie-eyed she could not spell her own child’s name to the police. She then asked a question that could not have been easier to answer…”Does that make me a shit Mum?”…

In short…YES IT DOES!!!!