Cultured Views

Skincare - a centuries old battle for us girls

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Some things never change. Life, death, men and toilet seats, the sleeping habits of new babies and…the problem of trying to keep that youthful complexion way beyond when youth has run out. We girls are still at it in the 21st century just as those ladies who waited on Cleopatra hand and foot several thousand years back were.

And are we using anything really more different to what medieval women used…?

Egyptian ladies were known to have used ochre and powdered gypsum in their makeup - as well as kohl which we still use today. Elizabeth I even used Cerussite, or white lead, on her face to make her complexion appear that prized ultra-pale shade - despite the fact that it was highly toxic.

Your grandmother will tell you that haemorrhoid cream was a popular treatment for little lines around the eyes and some people still swear by it. Toothpaste was also used for dabbing on pimples a few years back, and is said to be effective, however people with serious zits still require a proper acne cream unless Queen Victoria had her own way of dealing with the problem.

But when you consider what lengths many women go to today to maintain their complexions you have to admit that we still are suffering for our beauty - acid peels, botulism injections…I am wondering how long it will be before some clever person decides to market embalming fluid - and I would like to bet that women will still queue up for it.

Popularity: 14% [?]

Is your hair letting you down in the dating stakes?

Well, it does play a huge factor in attracting a date. The only guys who don’t have to worry I guess are those who have no hair at all - and yes - many women find that look attractive; look how successful Yul Brynner was with the ladies!

And how do we girls get out of a date ? we usually claim the ” I’m washing my hair tonight ” excuse - I guess the guys have all heard that one too but…sometimes you need a night in with a bottle of Extreme Style by VO5.

But as for the dating game in general the pick up line still remains the way for people to make that initial approach to someone - and personally I have heard some real clangers - but the prize for the worst line was from the guy with the mullet who said…

” Hey gorgeous, you’re the girl my mother always warned me about - want to show me why? ”

Yep, truly baaaaaddd…he was no way in the running and nor would he ever win the prize for Victory Hair with that mullet!

Come on guys - lift your game and try the Ultimate Flirting Championship and come up with something more original if you want to get anywhere.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Why didn’t ‘Brangelina’ take their own photo’s…?

I am steadfastly avoiding looking at the photo’s of The Twins - and you know which one’s I am talking about. Okay, I am being overly cynical here but I just so disagree with the way these babies are being marketed by their parents. All babies are beautiful, special and priceless so what makes the products of this couple’s egg and sperm so unique and worthy of so many millions of dollars for just a few pictures…?

The timing was well planned - Angie would have wanted to achieve some weight loss before being photographed looking no less than perfect - as, of course, all new mothers do just after giving birth. Angie will be nicely airbrushed whereas most of us women would have required extreme sandblasting for us to look anywhere near normal…

But when you are charging the public several million dollars for the privilege of seeing that your babies are no different to any other new baby you have to deliver the goods…right?

Why could Brad not take his own shots of his kids and release them himself…? why not take a leaf out of Nicole Kidman’s book and keep the precious newborns to themselves for a while - as they should want to do?

But we all know that the babies will not be the main focus of media attention over the coming weeks and months - we all know that all the hype will be devoted to Angie’s post-pregnancy waistline…that’s why all of this is just so shallow.

Popularity: 18% [?]