Bert and Patti Newton: the agony of a child with mental illness.

The famous ebullient smile that Australians know so well was not there on the face of the man we have known and loved for almost 60 years, and it was sadly absent from that of his wife as well. Bert and Patti Newton have been part of our living room furniture for almost as long as television has been around in Australia and over the past five decades we have been entertained by them on tv, stage, radio and screen. We remember when they married, when their first child Matthew arrived – the image of his ‘moonface’ dad – and then followed by daughter Lauren. We watched as Matthew grew into a bubbly child who clearly was blessed with the same jolly on-camera charisma as dad Bert, and musically gifted like his mum Patti. They were our own tv royalty and we admired how they had protected their family life from the glare of the cameras, they seemed like the normal, typical Australian family.

Well, in many ways they are because Bert and Patti Newton are enduring the same nightmare faced by untold numbers of parents around the country – and the world – they have a child who has descended into the maelstrom that is mental illness and they simply do not know what to do next. Matthew Newton has been on a downward spiral of assaults, rages and court appearances over the past few years, he has been in rehab and checked out before being sufficiently recovered and it has got to the stage now where his behaviour and mental state has dangerously reached melting point after several well-publicised incidents.

Bert and Patti appeared on TV last night to discuss their son’s condition – not to publicise themselves, not for PR, not to make empty excuses for their son – they appeared on national television to explain and to question while they seek answers as to how best to treat their son. They are a couple clearly at the end of their rope as most parents in this position, anyone in fact, would understand; this is a much loved showbiz couple stripped down to the rawest essentials, in pain and grieving already it seems – let’s hope that their beloved son is able to get the help he so badly needs, before it is too late.

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12 Comments.

  1. Deanna J Cartwright

    I am just around the corner from Matthew at present and wish in some way I could talk to him and give him my love and support.
    It has been saddening to see someone with so much to live for have this problem, there is so much support for him, if only we could get through.
    After twenty years, I married a man for two years who had the same upbrining as Matthew, he became a Manic Depressive, and had lots of problems with women. His family unfortunately were to blind to see that they had not done the right thing with this mans upbringing, I was luck to get away from him alive.
    I lost everything that I had left and now fourteen years on my life is a little sad, but in all of this, my two daughters and friends have stuck by me.
    I have moved on to help other people, as a JP and Guide to the Visually Blind Golfers. I am at 67 years years old still working which has been a blessing.

    • Good for you! you are a survivor. My father was in the showbusiness industry for sixty years and no matter how much normality a couple can attempt to give their children it is a life quite different from that of kids whose parents work in a bank or shop. I was lucky in that my sister and I were not dragged from pillar to post, we had a stable and secure home and only on the odd occasion did we venture to see my dad perform. Mum had spent enough years before we were born sitting in dressing rooms and nightclubs supporting dad and did not want to do that once she had her children. We were always tucked into bed when dad was on stage. That industry is full of victims, both adult and child, and my dad knew many fellow performers who relied heavily on the bottle or pills to get them through a tour or performance. My dad also knew Bert and as do all who have met him, he said he truly is a genuinely nice person. I have no doubt that Bert and Patti were loving parents but those of us who ‘know’ recall that Bert himself suffered a nervous breakdown back in the early sixties and even required psychiatric treatment and was treated with LSD at one stage, this has been well-documented. I am wondering if this drug affected his DNA and thus caused this manic depression in his son…?

      Keep strong Deanna and surround yourself with people who are good for you – people like you make this world go around :)

  2. Debbie Vatsinaris

    :cry: Dear Bert and Pattie,my heart goes out to you and i relate very closely as to what you are going through.I have a son who also i believe has mental illness partly due to drug abuse and other factors.He hates me and blames me for everything .All i want to do is help him but do not know how. I fear it will end badly.He is at a age where i can do nothing and it is breaking my heart and hurting all his family.Especially his sister who he is living with.God Bless your family and i hope one day we both have something happy to report and our sons come back to us.xx

    • I hope things pan out for you and your family, especially for your son. People who have not lived with mental illness have no idea of the pain it causes and how it affects everyone around the sufferer. All you can do is love him and be there – what else can you do when so little help is out there?
      All the best and please keep us updated as to your situation, I will be thinking about you :)

  3. Debbie Vatsinaris

    Thankyou so much for replying to my letter last night. It helps to communicate with someone reguarding this matter as sometimes you feel very alone.I just wanted to add that i think Pattie and Bert are treated very unfaily at times and i know that as parents we may make mistakes but never deliberately.It doesnt matter what background you come from or how much you love your children some things are out of your controll.I also want Pattie to know that I think she was a great rollmodel for Millers as she is such a great ,bubbly person and I will never understand them sacking her.I will let you know eventually how things go with my son and i hope it will be good.Once again thankyou .

    • How true are your words. Seeing your child so ill and not be able to help would be sheer torture for parents, this is where mental illness is so devastating – you cannot see the illness, the sufferer often looks fine, but they change and the person they loved is replaced by something they do not recognise. Bert and Pattie are lovely people and for a showbusiness couple I think they have done a great job in raising their two kids – it just goes to show that mental illness does not care who you are when it wants to enter your life.

  4. Debbie Vatsinaris

    I have seen Bert ad Pattie since I was a ittle girl and know they are wonderful people.I grew up enveying their wonderful family. not kowing that they would be one day in the same sad position that i am.I have just been told by my daughter that my son has hit an all time low.He has no friends ,has spent the last of his money ondrugs and looks like he has spent the entire night crying. I cry on the phone to my daughter and want to help him but can not.No it doesnt matter who you are. I hope i am not being a problem writing to you but it helps and i just hope Matthew is in a better position than my son as we speak both for his sake and his families. My love ,respect and heart to the Newton family.

    • I think when it comes down to it that no person ‘has it better’ than the other when they share the common problem of a mental illness – each person has their own brand of hell that they are going through. Poor Matthew Newton might have had a more privileged upbringing in many ways but his condition still brings him down to every other sufferer’s level – there’s no pecking order with this kind of thing, nobody has the advantage.
      Your son desperately needs help and appears to be at rock bottom, many say you have to hit rock bottom before you can begin the climb upwards. The drugs will make his condition harder to treat as his poor little body would be on chemical overload, he must feel desperate right now. Do you have a youth worker or counsellor who has been working with you or are you on your own with this…? he needs medical treatment, he needs therapy but most of all he needs someone he can trust and he needs to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You both need help right now – do you know where to turn?

  5. Debbie Vatsinaris

    nO WE DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO.I DID ATTEND SOME MEETINGS FOR FAMILIES AFFECTED BY DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE AND FOUND OUT ABOUT REHAB CENTRES BUT HE HAS TO WANT TO GO. iT IS HARD FOR ME TO HELP AS HE HATES ME AND WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.HE LIVED WITH ME AND MY HUSBAND UP UNTIL EIGHT MONTHS AGO AND SHIFTED OUT TO HIS SISTERS.WE TRIED TO HELP HIM GET ON HIS FEET BUT HE IS LIKE A LITTLE BOY AND JUST WANTED ME TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND AND LIVE WITH HIM.PETER AND I HAVE A LITTLE SIX YEAR OLD AND I THINK MARK IS
    VERY JELOUS OF HIM.ITS A LONG STORY.BECAUSTE HE IS 28 YEARS OF AGE IT IS VERY HARD TO GET HELP UNLES HE WILL LET US. MY DAUGHTER HAS GONE TO TALK TO HIS FATHER THS WEEKEND BUT I DONT KNOW IF THAT WILL MAKE A DIFFERCE.IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHO WE WOULD BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. THANKYOU

    • Hi Debbie – from what you say I am sensing, at the very least, that he is looking to you. He is a grown man and yet, without knowing your history, I am thinking that something in him is saying the ‘little boy’ in him wants his mum. You have some unresolved business with him that you both need to work on for a) for you to help him and…b) for him to move on and accept that help and begin to heal himself.

      As a start, I suggest you could contact the Salvation Army who are a completely non-judgemental organisation and who offer counselling which covers a very broad range of situations. From what you tell me your son has some issues that stem from emotional conflict, but the first thing you need to do is establish a base with your son. You need to say ‘okay, here I am – I want to help you, where do we start?’ – possibly easier said than done but I hope you get the gist of what I am suggesting. He sounds like a lost little boy that has lost his way somewhere. I feel your life took a different direction at some stage some time ago and he felt left out…as though he did not fit in with it…? sometimes these things happen through no fault of your own. We all love our children. Please let him know you intend to set up some counselling and that both of you must agree to participate because I feel you and he need to touch base with each other away from everyone else.
      I do not like to presume but, I would maybe keep some space between him and your six year old for a while…

      Here is the link for the Salvo’s – give them a go and let me know how things go…http://salvos.org.au/need-help/family-and-personal-issues/professional-counselling-service.php

  6. Debbie Vatsinaris

    THANKYOU VERY MUCH I WILL RING THE SALVATION ARMY AND TALK TO THEM. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT ORGANIZTION BEFORE. THANKYOU VERY MUCH I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW WE GO.

    • The Salvo’s are the only charitable organisation I will donate to because they actually practice what they preach. The best of luck and do let me how you get on.

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