Cultured Views

‘Muscles’ Madonna

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Madonna was pictured recently going for a walk in London after one of her workouts at the gym. Madge works out for two hours a day six days a week and boy does it show!

How old is she, 50…? looking at her sinewy arms and tiny waist you’d say ‘no way’, but of course then you get a look at her hands and face. One thing about maintaining certain parts of the body beyond a certain age is that it shows up elsewhere…and with Madge it shows up on her face. But then again Madonna was never really pretty, or all that feminine to start with…rather boyish if you ask me. Mind you, I admire her clout, her business acumen, her balls-y spirit.

But for all that Madonna, despite her name, is not exactly the last word in femininity. By the way Madge, whilst you spend so much time at the gym, who is looking after that little boy you purchased from Africa a while back…?

And what are you going to do about your daughter’s mono-brow ? we all know you home school your kids, but sometime, someday, Lourdes is going to have to face the real world…but hopefully not with this…! (or that tiny hint of a moustache…)

Gosh I’m a bitch….

Popularity: 27% [?]

Famous words

As the elections in Zimbabwe have drawn to a close and the people wait to be reassured that Robert Mugabe has been ousted, I was watching him on the news a while ago lying through his teeth about his practice of election rigging. His words were “I have always been honest and everything has been conducted above board“. What a laugh, and I think he actually believes himself which is the big worry. Anyway, it got me thinking about other world leaders who similarly uttered equally ridiculous words that had absolutely nothing to do with the truth; here’s a few examples…

Richard Nixon, US President: I am not a crook!

Bill Clinton, US President : I did not have sexual relations with that woman!

Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1938: My good friends this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor.  I believe it is peace in our time.

Bob Hawke, Australian Prime Minister 1987: We set ourselves this first goal: by 1990 no Australian child will be living in poverty.

Gough Whitlam, Australian Prime Minister, 1975: Well may we say God Save the Queen, but of course nothing will save the Governor General.

Martin McGuiness, Deputy First Minister Northern Ireland 2005: I am not a member of the IRA Army Council.

Tony Blair, British Prime Minister 1997:  Mine is the first generation able to contemplate the possibility that we may live our entire lives without going to war or sending our children to war.

But I leave the last words to this Australian Prime Minister…

Malcolm Fraser, Australian Prime Minister 1975-83: Life wasn’t meant to be easy.

Popularity: 31% [?]

The bane of a teenagers life

When I was in my teens I was one of those annoying people that never suffered one single blemish on my skin; whilst my girlfriends were plastering their faces with all kinds of pimple potions, squeezing and popping, I sailed through my teen years with a nice clear complexion and they hated it.

My son William though was not so lucky and about 14 years of age developed the beginnings of acne; I bought many preparations and sought out all the latest developments in acne treatment and some of them made his skin worse. Funnily, since he left here and returned to Australia his skin has just about cleared up. He is twenty now so maybe the age thing has kicked in and he has simply grown out of it, but of course the healthy climate and sunshine could also be a factor.

Whatever the cause though it is interesting that his two brothers (14 & 22 ) are not bothered with this condition at all.

Popularity: 31% [?]